LIVING IN THE MOMENT

I feel like my life is being run by 3 things:

1) My calendar
2) My to-do list
3) My checkbook

I don't mean I use them to guide my life. They are actually running my life. My last thoughts before bed and my first thoughts in the morning are focused on at least one of these three things. I often glance at them throughout the day and sometimes dream about them at night. I judge the passing of time by the amount of things I can get done before I need to be somewhere, and the number of days until the next "big thing" on the calendar. Let's not forget the number of days until the next paycheck. I find myself saying, "I just have to make it through this day," or "I only have x hours until I'm done with work," or "Just x days until _____ is over."

This leads me to ask:
Since when did my life become something I just need to survive?
Am I so focused on getting through, that I am missing the moment?
Am I really living the abundant life Jesus wants me to have?

Today, I decided enough is enough. Today, instead of asking God to help me get through the day, or get things done, or get us through until payday, I asked Him to help me find joy in my everyday life. I asked him to help me live today, not just survive the day. Everytime I found myself turning back to survival mode, I made myself change my mantre to "Thank you, Lord for this day." I searched for joy and pleasure and blessing and found it around every corner.

I'm not going to get rid of my calendar...that would be disasterous.
I'm not going to get rid of my to-do list...it has really helped me focus and prioritize.
I'm definitely not going to get rid of my checkbook.

Instead, I am not going to let them run my life. On second thought, maybe I will get rid of them. I will hand them over to God and let Him use them to guide me.

I don't want to miss any more moments. Especially these three.